I tried out a new tangerine and spinach omelet recipe this morning-delicious!
My breakfast may or may not have been influenced by my sighting of “Mystery Egg Man”. This is the third time I’ve seen him while shopping at Aldi. Mystery Egg Man is exactly that- a man shrouded in mystery regarding eggs.
My childhood bookworm days aren’t for naught, as my hours with Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys and the case-cracking Boxcar Children led to my two sleuthing observations regarding Mystery Egg Man:
1. The sheer quantity of eggs he purchases.
2. His evasive attitude while buying said eggs.
If I was at police academy utilizing my incident report writing skills, I’d describe my first encounter with this man as so:
On January 9th, 2010 at 0900 hours I, Recruit Officer Sookie Smackhouse with the IMPD, was dispatched to the Aldi location at 6691 East Washington Street in reference to a Mysterious Egg Man. MEM is a W/M, 5′ 8″- 5′ 10″, 160-170 lbs.
Ok, let’s return to citizen-speak: His shopping cart was full of egg cartons and nothing else. Mystery Egg Man was literally tip toeing cautiously down the aisle so the egg cartons wouldn’t tip over the side of his cart. This was strange, but like my earlier post on WalMart, I expect a degree of craziness at my east-side Aldi. He purchased $300 worth of eggs! The cashier asked, “Didn’t I just see you in here yesterday with eggs?” The man avoided eye contact, didn’t answer and shuffled off quickly- or as quickly as one can while burdened with 50 lbs of eggs.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the encounter as I walked home. What would possess someone to buy such a large quantity of eggs? I imagined sinister purposes in which Officer Smackhouse would break up the largest illegal egg smuggling ring in Indianapolis as MEM yelled from the squad car, “I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for meddling kids!”
I’d repeat the incident to friends with indifferent responses such as, “Hmm, wow, a carton full of eggs, imagine that.” “But you don’t understand!” I’d say, “Over $300 worth of eggs!” I could tell they weren’t impressed, and not curious enough to sleuth about the importance of such a thing. They’d counter with, “Did I tell you about the guy I saw without pants at Kroger?” No pants?! Big deal! It was nothing compared to my Mystery Egg Man.
Several months later, the luster of MEM began to wear off, and I wondered if my friends had been right- it wasn’t such an amazing tale after all. But then, Hark! Another Saturday morning and there he was in all his eggy glory. It was a similar occurrence with the cartful of eggs and the peculiar behavior. And behold! Yet again this morning just a month later with my third sighting.
My tale ends here. One Aldi, one Mystery Egg Man, 3 sightings, over 600 egg cartons. Clearly, Officer Smackhouse has some investigating to do. I will report back with my findings , and hopefully after interrogations with MEM be armed with 101 new ways to cook eggs. Zoinks!
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